NEWTONS NEW LAWS

* LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

* LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

* LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

* LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

* LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

* BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

* LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don?t want to be seen with.

* LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won?t work, it will!

* THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

* LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.