Episode 1 (It was somthing)

Naive... this is the exact word that you could have called her 5 years ago... a life of 20 years were never considered and can't be written in her upper book... she never felt the life before... she used to be one of her best colleagues in school...just for one reason...she loved to study... she used to feel perfect with the company of books...maths...chemistry...physics...English...stories...whatever the book was... she enjoyed it... she used to feel different than other girls... she never memorize a song...a dance or even a poem as long as its not written in her books...

With her shyness...quietness...politeness...she hided behind her books... she never thought of relationships ...at least for 20 yrs...
Never passed a broken heart story...just read about it...

All the world around her considered her an angel...smiley angel... an angel that never lies...never cheat...never had a single mistake...simply an angel...

Perfect daughter she was and still is... but not with the same meaning... the first 20 yrs were so pure...so perfectly honest in and out...

you won't even believe that such a girl can be exist with that behaviour or even that purity... she even considered looking to a guy is a big sin... she considered her hand shaking with the opposite sex is something that will cause her loosing her honour…

On 21...she met that guy...through internet... she felt something strange in her heart...something that never felt or understood in stories... she talked to him 5 years without seeing him...

He was her hero... he was her dream... a fantasy that she fell in love with...

They shared feelings...million of cyber kisses... or even cyber love making...

It was simply what made her think of herself...her beauty... how to look after herself... in different way...

She always wondered why her mother never talked to her about such things...

She sent him her pic on 22... He said she was beautiful...he built a belief in herself...by being on net every night... by his insistence to hear her voice for more than 3 years...

He used to say he'll come to her country... with billion promises he failed to keep...

Later 22...he disappeared...maybe he got bored...maybe he had somebody...who knows... but she fell in a deep phase of tears talking, worrying and nightmares... she never mistrust him... she kept sending him emails......where is he? What had she done to leave her? Did she do or say anything that upset him? What happened??

With self-blaming, the hope lost after 9 month-trials to reach him…

Sometime on 23 with that horrible thing happened in that country, she got really worried about him...she sent him another email... “I just wondered if you are ok...” Maybe he got shocked from that honest email... he replied... “I am so happy to hear from you... i was bla bla bla”.... faked excuses but acceptable ones for her...

Is it love? Is the dream of love? Is it getting used to it? Or is it the thing that leads her to look at herself... what was it?

They got back...with more love...more talking...longer chatting... she lost her appetite to sleep...lost her appetite for anything else but him...

He said he wanted to come for her... this time she postponed it one long year... she wasn't ready for marriage...with that small crack on her heart caused by his absence for more than 9 months, she didn’t want to see him that soon...

She kept dreaming of love...of marriage...of travelling to him... and finally...that day came...
She waited on that place...looking at every guy coming toward her...trying to remember his details sent by his pictures... her heart tremble and she felt like running away before seeing him... a felt of regret ion built up by every second she waited...

Eventually, he showed up...with the first shock of his real physical existence... she didn’t accept his hand shaking... she was sitting there trying to look at him without eye contact... was he really the one she loved for 5 years?... why she couldn’t feel it? Why she felt he was not her hero?

He gave her that gift...the one that he used to tell her about before he came... she always wanted to ask why that gift was not the same one as he told her about in their chatting… Did he really have it at that time? Or did he give it to another girl?
She never loved to take gifts from anybody...but why he lied about that gift... why he lied about his job? His qualifications ?... His most personal details? Did he really think that after all these lies, she would trust him? Or would even agree to marry him for the reason of love? Is it a life when it is based on lies? Didn’t he know that he was her first hero? Didn’t he know that he's the one who taught her how to look at life? At relationships? Guys? Didn’t he know how many opportunities she refused to see because he was in her mind and heart?

Few real dates later...she decided to tell him he's not her one... with unacceptable reaction, he destroyed every single memory she had for him... why he couldn't understand that they are not for each other?... why he didn’t understand its the fate who decide to connect people...? Why he had to say that and do this? Why??

With broken bleeding heart that naive girl...is no longer exit...