Lord of the rings 3

I am a very sweet, really nice and soft lady but!!!!
sorry I can't say it better than this: Lord of the rings "Fagga3 mararty, alla yel3an abohom 3ala abo Frodo..."

Cloudy Sun.....

Opened my eyes on my bright room...what a sunny day!!!... I was planning to study the whole day but who's that crazy to waste a sunny day in England...? I waked my friend up...with cheerful voice I said its sunny outside... and here you go...started our day... we called the rest of the gang...planned to go to the river side with lots of biscuits, fruits and juices...the weather was amazing... we chased the ducks...had fun with feeding them...especially that greedy big one which ate most of the biscuits....(mafjooo3a)... it was the largest and the strongest...

Two hours later, it gets colder so we left the green area... & went to our favourite place for shisha, music and chatting...stayed there till 3:00pm then decided to go home to study few hours before our late night movie...

but can you believe this moody weather...who saw it in the morning will never believe it will change this badly...

Now I am starting to write my first year report... I wonder how long will it take...hopefully it will be done by 15th of may... I can't believe how fast these days are.

Everything is Fine

Since the day I arrived to this city, Friday’s nights were always cinema nights…today we saw “Inside man”…. It was really a very good one but too long especially with a severe pain in the bottom side of your back…. But thank God for medicine, with a “deep heat” patch, I am already feeling much better … Anyway, after our cinema, we continued our night with the gang, ordered some food, watched another movie “spiderman-2” and had some shisha…it was a nice night as always…

The thing that really touched me today, was my mom call at the end of the first movie… which is around 12 am Jordan time…I got really worried for her late call since she never did it before and for a reason that she rarely sleep late… “wainek 7abibti, meshta2etlek…laih ma 3am teb3atele kol akhbarek…keef drastek…ma3 meen 3am tetla3e…bshu mashgooleh?” all these questions at the same time… I swear to God for a min I wanted to cry…her last call was just few days ago with non-stop txt msgs…but her sudden worries about me tonight were so touchy and surprising… my friends were waiting for me while I was talking to her…I turned my face away from them…took my breath… hold my tears and my strength to tell her my news...I didn’t know what to tell her…I never liked to involve her with my problems…never wanted to bother her regardless how far I got with my troubles…I always show her that nothing is serious…just a bad temper phase I am in…what shall I tell her now… with a distance of more than 10 hours …shall I tell her I am depressed because of my study? shall I tell her about the stress from sitting infront of the computer for more than 14 hours a day learning new software’s for my PhD…or shall I tell her about my heart broken news and my struggle with somebody’s presence…or maybe I should tell her about hating myself to decide to continue my PhD in this particular city!…which one shall I start? …maybe I should start with telling her about my burnt skin when I tried to cook pasta…or my daily course of milk and corn-flakes because of both lack of time and laziness to cook…ahhhhhhhhh ya mama… it’s a decision I made by myself…a decision I fought the whole family for … a decision I didn’t even consider the consequences of achieving it in this city with his presence … it was a stubborn dream as every other dream I followed and wrote my story … I miss you mom…I wish I can have that huge doses of hugs & kisses to assure me that everything is OK….I am so tired…so stressed out because of things I decided to have… I gave up the idea of being a normal girl while you all warned me not to… my dream has started to convert to a nightmare since the day I arrived here… will it finish one day? …

“Mama kolshe tamam, don’t worry…bs draseh kteer…o halla tal3een ma3 el group 3al cinema” with a tear f*ed the bloody ground I am walking on.

NEWTONS NEW LAWS

* LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

* LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

* LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

* LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

* LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

* BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

* LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don?t want to be seen with.

* LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won?t work, it will!

* THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

* LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Adaptation!

Yesterday I watched a movie twice!!! ADAPTATION by Nicholas Cage, Meryl Streep and Chris Cooper! Amazing movie summarizes life and highlights beautiful concepts and ideas through talking about rare species of Orchade. A flower that is dangerously found after long searches in scary forests full of different types of fierce animals.

I will start my comments by the first sentence of the movie, "Today is the first day of the rest of my life"...isn't it such a rosy optimistic way to look at life? It makes me feel good despite of starting my 27th year next month.

The title Adaptation was so perfectly inspiring to describe such a movie. It was used to describe “a profound process” that happened to many creatures in life during earth phases. But is it true that adaptation for a person is shameless and like running away... and why? Why the need for a new start in a different place with different people is running away? Is it wrong to adopt adaptation for the sake of change? Shouldn’t anyone try hard to stand on his own feet after several trials to be crashed? In the case of the actress, she always wanted a change in her life but critical changes in life were never a choice... and that dragged her to lie about her change! And what a lie if the closest person didn't feel it? Should it be called a lie? If somebody cared about you, shouldn't he or she feel you? Feel your lie? Feel your willing to change?

"Do people who search for rare flowers in dangerous forests love flowers or love the difficulty and fatality to get them?" ... isn't it weird how this sentence define most cases in love stories... starting from Romeo & Juliet ending by nowadays...Lovers separated by religion, nationalities, money, policy, social circumstances or relative blabbing... and the more difficult the case is, the stronger the love is...

Look how amazing this is: "your love is your own, not anybody's business" so even if you love a guy or a girl who make fun of you, you shouldn't care because you are what you love not what loves you...!!!

They also commented about life; with all the ideas, people, things, options and with all directions in this world, we always choose our people, our things, our direction and the reason for that as mentioned in the movie is, it whittles the world down to a more manageable size!!! What do you think??? I wish if there’s an easy way to find the best direction. But will the world be balanced regardless what directions, people or different types of options we choose? Shouldn’t be some kind of signs to lead people? and what if they are actually present? Who teaches people how to read these signs or even believe in them!

At the end with no end is better than this paragraph, “We are all one thing, lieutenant. That’s what I’ve come to realize. Like cells in a body. ’Cept we can’t see the body, the way fish can’t see the ocean. And so we envy each other. Hurt each other. Hate each other. How silly is that? A heart cell hating a lung cell” Cassie from The Three

So True!!

This is why I am not married yet!!

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

10.The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11.The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW ....WHO REALLY UNDERSTANDS
MEN?

Long busy day... but!!!

I really had a nice long busy day, I went to the city centre with some lovely friends. We had windows shopping, sat in Costa Waterstone branch for the sake of coffee. then went to the New Theatre at the university to watch a 3hr-play called "The Treatment", which was good but quite boring. At least we enjoyed our vision with some beautiful guys which I believe they are gay!

After that, we went with hungry stomachs to our friend's place to have dinner, shisha and watching a scary stupid movie ( I didn't watch the movie indeed since I closed my eyes the whole time, but who cares...I dont want to destroy my imagination of life even if its just a fake movie... I hate bloody scenes...yaaak)...

Now I am in my room, feeling something is missing... I really cant understand, with all these people in my life and with all the fun we are having, it is never enough!!!... Yes I do miss my family... I do miss them alot... but I dont think ill be more satisfied with them...

I am not searching for somebody... not in his presence... I simply can't think of others... Despite of these cold days we are having lately, I wish I can sleep in his arms without thinking of consequences... why cant it be this simple?

I can imagine myself three years later from now, in my way to airport, crying myself for the loss of his presence in my life... I know it is better for both of us this way but......

God...I feel I will explode...

A year ago!

Sitting in her own, digging in her thoughts, whites and blacks pop up with no reason… reaching memories which she hardly believes living them in real… A year ago she was sitting with the same pressure… different places… different faces but never gets rid of instability status... loosing control becomes one of her unique traits …

She is thinking…
Over and over again!!!!

Why does she insist to have it after all the suffering she passed through? Why is it hard to be normal in talking about her life? Why has she made it so bloody complicated to discuss it with girls of her age?

A year ago she was sitting with the same bad temper. Complaining about her stupidity to search for love, for adventure, for a change… a year ago she was in love with another person, another fantasy with no common senses… A year ago she got rid of a fairy-tale by another legend….

“NO” was never her word… she was always so sweet not to say “NO”…. she is a “YES” girl … “YES” for dream… “YES” for now… for trust… for fun… for playing heart games… her favorite game… she used to play her role with magic… she knows what he wants to hear or feel … he was always a puzzle that she loved to solve and never failed… Now, she’s tired… restless… and confused…

Despite of a known end, “HE” never stopped trying to get more into her… with a charming way and a lovely effect, “HE” keeps manipulating her … surely she loves him… with desperate feelings she struggles not to refuse him…

With all the blaming guilty thoughts she endures… she does not know why she fears to upset him… why she fears to face him…”YES” she loves him … but till when… it’s a shame that after all the things “HE” has done for her… she suffers a feeling of being mistreat… isn’t it true that “HE” should not just accept a relationship out of love frame, but also try hard to avoid it? Isn’t it hard to be refused by “SHE”? Why does “HE” keep insisting of being closer with love after long negotiation of “NO”? Is it the way that “SHE” says it? Or is it just a strategy of “HE” to wait her frail moments? Why is it even hard to judge him even in papers? Tons of pushy words argue with the fingers tips to bare… to show up… to breathe the justice… Why do these tips choose to stand the weight over to tell? Her all body seems to have a conspiracy against her… is it because she mistrust it at first? Was it her fault? … “YES” it was and will always be her fault until she learns to say “NO”… until she learns not to worry about anybody sensation but herself… until she respect God’s creation of her body and mind… and whatever happened after that worth nothing just memories that will stick inside the heart; dig for soreness and more sorrow…

As long as “a year ago” exists with this seemingly - eternal meaning… God lord, she can clearly see her gruesome ending… and as long as “a year ago” is felt guilt… as long as she can’t deserve a human spirit… a wise limit should be written for “HE” and “she” regardless what consequences will be…